There are some things in life that you just know from the very beginning. For me, there are just two things I've ever known for sure. The first is that I am a child of God; held in His hand and covered by His grace. That is something I have known for as long as I can remember.
I also knew from the start that I was born to be a mother. I played with dolls until I was "too old" and had to put them away. To this day, I love the smell of a brand new baby doll! When I was in high school I hated the question, "What are you going to do when you graduate?". I had no desire to do anything except have a family, but I had gotten the message loud and clear that being a mother is not enough in our society. I spent four years of college trying to find something to "be". I only knew that I loved home. Home and family brought me happiness. My mom was the person I admired. She had the life I wanted.
And so I chose. I wanted to "be" a wife and mother. In a world that devalues motherhood, I chose to honor and cherish it as sacred. I chose to raise my children because I believe no one loves them like I do. No one knows them like I do. I would rather be a mother than own a home, have a new car, have a big savings account, or have a career. I knew what I was supposed to "be" from the beginning.
God has been so good to me. He gave me the desires of my heart in ways I could never imagine. He gave me a husband who supports my choices in every way. He not only supports them, he honors them. He will do anything to make my dream of being a "stay at home" mother continue to be a reality. I guess he is the third thing I know for sure!
God has also given me the gift of motherhood in exactly the ways I always dreamed it would be. He knows me so well and He gave me exactly the daughters of my heart. I wouldn't change a thing about my children. Through their lives, He has taught me be a servant, to have more faith, to love with my whole heart, and to grow more Christlike.
He gave me a beautiful, healthy, smart, and vibrant daughter. Allie is my shining star. She fills our lives with joy and laughter. She is compassionate and loving and strong. She is growing into a young lady who follows God with all her heart. Allison is my treasure here on earth.
God blessed me with another daughter. Emma is my butterfly. I was blessed to take care of her for nine wonderful years. She taught me so much about love and life and death and hope. I gave her the best gift I could as her mother; I let her go. I let her go so she could be a butterfly. Emma is my treasure in Heaven.
And now I am waiting for my third daughter. I am excited to experience motherhood in a whole new way. I am praying for the woman who is carrying her and those who will care for her until we can bring her home. I trust God to give us exactly the child He planned to be in our family.
I hope I am teaching my daughters the right things. I hope they know that they don't have to ''be" anything except who God made them. I hope they know there is no one I would rather "be" than their mother!