Wednesday, March 26, 2008

Dreams...



"Our truest life is when we are in our dreams awake."
-Henry David Thoreau

I am reading a book right now called, "One Month to Live". The purpose of the book is to get us to live each day intentionally, as if it might be our last. The reading today was on dreams. The dreams we all have for our lives that get lost under the burden of everyday life and problems. The author talked about our dreams for ourselves and God's dreams for us. How do we know when a dream is from Him?

God's dreams will always rise to the top while all the others melt away. God's dream will be so big that you cannot do it on your own. It will require faith. God's dream will also make a difference in the lives of others. It will not be selfish. God's dream comes from your heart, the core of your being. It will be a passion in your life.

When I read these things I couldn't help but think of our adoption story. I believe that it is a dream God placed in our hearts a very long time ago and throughout all of the challenges we have faced this dream has always risen to the top. It definitely requires faith and is bigger than ourselves!

The author goes on to remind us that God has a purpose for us, but that the devil also has a purpose for us. God wants to give us a dream and Satan wants to destroy it. Simple as that. I have felt that so many times in this journey.

At first it was the money. How could we ever do this? That is where the faith came in. We did not ask anyone for money except the grants we applied for and money has come in through friends, parents, cousins, brothers, sisters, aunts, and uncles, and our church family. And even a grant! Everytime we have been tempted to give in to anxiety and unbelief, God has provided.

Next came the doubts. What will people think? Will people accept this child into our family? Will people think we are trying to replace Emma? Will we feel guilty for loving another child? Will Allie be able to accept a new sister? Are we too old?(Big One) So many questions going through my head. So many doubts that came from my enemy.

And now as we finally are nearing the completion of this process, there are new reasons to fear and doubt. I don't talk about it on here much or at all, but things are going a little crazy with Vietnam adoptions right now. I won't get into all of the details but there is a very real possibility that all adoptions between the U.S. and Vietnam will be ended soon. It is a very scary time. All of this has happened since we began our adoption. Sometimes the fear overwhelms me. Sometimes I can't sleep at night because the thought of losing another child fills me with dread and anxiety.

Reading this chapter today reminded me that this dream is God's dream, not mine, and He will see it through. We have seen Him intervene in so many ways and He will again. We believe He chose Anna to be our child and He will bring her home to us. What a relief!! I can rest in His promises.

I was looking at a website the other day that sells adoption jewelry and I saw this Chinese proverb:
"An invisible red thread connects those who are destined to meet; regardless of time, place, or circumstance. The thread may stretch or tangle, but never break."
For me, that red thread is a symbol of a dream, God's dream for my family, and it will never break. I took a red thread and wove it through a silver bracelet to remind me of that dream and the promise that it will become reality.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Hi Olson Family,
Anna Grace is a perfect name. I can't wait to meet her and to hold her. I have her picture on my desk at the church! Although I can't read your letters and listen to the music without tears! "And I think to myself - what a wonderful life!" Thanks for the reminder! Love you all!
Chris