Tuesday, May 24, 2011

His Plan Prevails

I used to be a planner. An organizer. But not a dreamer. My feet have always been firmly planted in reality. I see things as they are, not what they could be.

Maybe there was a time when I dreamt. I vaguely remember visions of traveling to Paris, feeding starving children in Africa, raising a big, happy family...

But there was a day when my dreaming stopped. A day when the harsh reality of what my future would hold hit me square in the face and I became a planner. I looked at my reality and I started seeing it for what it was, and dreaming was not going to fix anything. I had to plan. I had to research. I had to make lists and charts. I had to organize schedules and appointments. There was no time for dreaming. Planning was a neccessity. Being a realist was the only way to survive.

So I took charge of the situation. I made the plan. I created order out of the chaos and I survived...

Until a day I did not plan on brought everything to a stop. In all my planning and realism I had not planned on this! I could not accept it. I could not take it. And so began the end of planning. Or dreaming.

I can relate to the feelings of Job, "My days have passed, my plans are shattered, and so are the desires of my heart." (Job 17:11). I wandered through my days, just waiting for each one to pass. I didn't make plans. I didn't dream of anything different for my future. I felt broken, dazed, and hopeless.

In all of my planning, I had forgotten one important piece of the puzzle. It is found in Proverbs 16:9, "In his heart a man plans his course, but the Lord determines his steps." Wow, no wonder I was so lost. I had tried so hard to take control of the situation but, in truth, it was never mine and never could be. I was making plans but God was in control. And, though I didn't like His plan a whole lot, I had to accept it. I had give Him back the control and let it go.

And slowly, so slowly, I felt life coming back into my soul. If God was the one making the plans and He loved me then I had to hope that the plans were going to be good ones. I had to believe that there was a bigger purpose for all the messiness I had experienced in life. I wanted it to be neat and orderly and pretty, but it was a mess like no other. I was a mess. But, lucky for me, God loves messes.

He doesn't stop planning or dreaming for us. Even when we do. He keeps on loving us and holding us and moving us forward. I had always loved the verse in Jeremiah 29:11, "For I know the plans I have for you, says the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." I held on to this promise with everything I had. I had to believe that He had a plan, and it was a good plan. He started filling my heart with hope and I started to see that there could be a future. And it could be good.

I started to plan again. But this time I planned differently. I didn't forget the truth of that verse in Proverbs 16:9. I knew I could plan but God would direct my steps. And I let Him. Not perfectly, mind you. I have taken some missteps along the way. I have stumbled. But I am learning to get back up and get back on the course He has for me. One step at a time.

I"ve even started dreaming again. Big dreams. Inklings of what could be pop into my head and my mind starts to wander to new and exciting places. Places I believe God is leading me. And if He isn't, that's okay too. It's still fun to dream. I think I may share those dreams with you soon.

But maybe, just maybe, those dreams are part of the plan. Maybe it's okay to start making plans as long as I know they are part of His plan. His plan to redeem the pain, the mess, the tears. To bring me good and not harm. To give me a hope and a future.

And so, I dream.

And I plan.

But I know "Many are the plans in a man's heart, but it is the Lord's purpose that prevails." (Proverbs 19:21)

And I thank Him for that every single day.

Thursday, May 5, 2011

Here Comes the Sun!






Here comes the sun












Here comes the sun, and I say












It's alright










Little Darling


It's been a long, cold lonely winter







Little Darling


It feels like years since it's been here














Here comes the sun


Here comes the sun, and I say


It's alright











Little Darling


The smiles returning to the faces










Little Darling


It seems like years since it's been here









Here comes the sun


Here comes the sun, and I say


It's alright








Sun, sun, sun, here it comes


Sun, sun, sun, here it comes









Sun, sun, sun, here it comes


Sun, sun, sun, here it comes


Sun, sun, sun, here it comes









Little Darling


I feel that ice is slowly melting












Little Darling


It feels like years since it's been clear










Here comes the sun


Here comes the sun, and I say


It's alright











Here comes the sun


Here comes the sun








It's alright


It's alright